Dear Future Superstar,
Yes, the one casually scrolling and "thinking about it." Let’s cut to the chase: it’s time to register for the event.
I know, I know — registering to attend a life changing event that will probably be your family's equivalent of buying amazon stock in 2003 or bitcoin in 2010... is a Herculean task, right up there with climbing Everest in flip-flops.
But you’ve done harder things. Like pretending to understand your taxes.
Or surviving a group chat with that one friend who still has an android.
seriously? That's just rude at this point! 😂
Now I get it — maybe you're waiting for a sign from the universe.
Well, surprise! This is it.
You thought it would be a personal message from Tony Robbins or Mother Theresa but instead... God gave you the Gucci Cowboy.
Please don't let me down with the big man.
Look, unless you’re planning on winning a Nobel Prize or discovering a new planet in the next few days, you probably have the time to go ahead and get registered for this event right meooow.
"I'll do it later" - said no successful person ever.
Registering is quick, painless, and comes with a free side of feeling superior to your past procrastinating self for the rest of this day, week, and call it a month.
Deep exhale as you sip an organic smoothy after this and ascend to instant superstar status while becoming the talk of the town!
Monuments will be made about your decisiveness today.
Plus, when the event rolls around, you get to be the smug, prepared one instead of the flustered, last-minute registrant who’s frantically checking their inbox for a confirmation email that they never got because they never clicked “submit.”
So go on. Be bold. Be decisive. Be the person your dog thinks you are.
Knock out Step 1 & Step 2 like someone just called you "ma'am" or "sir" at a night club on a Friday night.
"Don't you dare!!!!" 💥
You’ll thank yourself later and at least you won’t be the one awkwardly showing up to talk to the event manager's hand because the face don't understand.
(That's an old Martin Lawrence tv sitcom reference.)
Focus!
There are two types of people in Make Wellness.
The registered and the unregistered.
I'll briefly describe each of them and you can decide which one you want to be today.
Ahem...
The Registered
This clever person goes on to live a magical life, inspire millions, become the hero to their family, changes their family tree, gets in the best shape of their life, earns interest on their money, travels to cool places, eats the best food, drinks the best drinks, laughs all the time, is the envy of all their friends, one ups the Jones', has the best network of friends, and is constantly begged to run for mayor of their town.
Their days are filled with soft blankets wrapped around them in their dream office chair while they crush sale after sale because they learned all the automation secrets and content approaches at this event.
The Un-Registered
Ah, the unregistered soul. A tragic figure, really.
This person ends up single, alone, afraid, bloated, miserable, panicky, and watching Jerry Springer re-runs in their double wide trailer while the neighbor's dog barks incessantly at absolutely nothing.
In their world it's constantly cloudly... rainy, & bone chilling cold.
Tornadoes come by every night. Earthquakes happen regularly.
No matter when they buy it... their milk is always expired.
At their mere sight, babies instantly cry.
Their toilet backs up all the time and the plumber doesn't know how to fix it.
Random strangers in weird masks knock on their door at all hours of the night whispering "you should have registered, you should have registered"
What's worse is when they open a package of skittles, they never get the greens ones. Red isn't there either. Essentially this person is doomed to a life of yellow and orange skittles only.
Their car regularly doesn't start.
So they book an uber but the driver never shows up.
Ex lovers call them once a month and share in detail about how great their new life is with their very decisive partners.
They never get sick because even bacteria & viruses don't want to hang around them.
Cops pull them over and write them tickets for running yellow lights.
Why? All because they didn't attend the Make Wellness Fall Retreat in Dallas, TX.
That's why.
AND it gets worse.
Much worse.
Picture this:
"While others bask in the warm glow of confirmation emails today, you're reality if you don't register right now... is one left hitting "refresh" on your inbox like a raccoon pawing at a vending machine.
Creepy.
The event comes and goes — full of laughter, swag bags, and people exchanging instagram handles like candy — while you sit at home in sweatpants that have lost their structural integrity, holding a mug that says “World’s Okayest Person,” wondering where it all went wrong and asking your up-line if this event is going to be streamed and promising you'll attend the "next" one.
Your up-line leaves you on read.
forever.
You never hear from them again.
You think about registering last-minute, only to be met with “Sorry, registration is closed.”
Closed. Like the door to your dreams.
Meanwhile, your FOMO hits critical mass in September.
You're doom-scrolling through posts from people who made a decision today to attend the event — they’re glowing, hashtagging, living their best lives.
They're all so happy. So beautiful. So fit. So healthy. So rich.
You heart their stories... but they don't heart back.
These people have name badges!
We're talking lanyards!
Complimentary pens!
Hotel coffees in their hands!
They're booking spa appointments!
Having lunch with their teams!
Group selfies!
But you?
You have regret, a crumb in your bra, and a late notice from your electric company.
You attempt to tell people, “I meant to register,” but it’s too late.
They smile politely, then turn back to someone who did register.
Someone who believes in themselves.
Someone with a tote bag.
So go ahead.
Register now.
Avoid becoming a cautionary tale whispered about in text threads and recounted at future events as "the one who almost made it."
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GET REGISTERED.
